Douchette

Per Urban Dictionary, douchette is a female douche. We all know one; that twat-swatter in your posse, that chick in your office that wears the right shade of brown, that nosy neighbor who really just has it out to get you evicted. Know them, love them (NOT) and loathe them.

I seem to have a magnet for douchettes. I really want to know what bug I stepped on or whos parking spot I ninja'd in order to gain the unconcious posession of said magnet. It never fails, there is one around every turn.

Case in point:
Today my roommate came to pick me up from work, and brought my dog, Milo, with him, as I wanted to show my coworker my kiddo who I talk about so much. On the way back to our apartment, we stop at the grocery store to grab tortillas and beans for dinner (Fajitas, bitches!) and we in the store for maybe.. 12 minutes? I know this because between the call I made just before stepping out of my car and getting in my car after being berated, 13 minutes had passed. Note Im assuming I listened to her b.s. for a minute.

Note, I always lower at least two windows to three inches, park in the shade and leave a small dish of water on the floor for my dog. Apparently I was in the store for half an hour, while my dog suffered in the heat. According to her, she sat in her car, with her dog, with her windows cracked, for the half an hour I was in the store. I love the hypocracy in that, don't you? Apparently she took down my license plate and is going to sick the ASPCA on me. And to top it all off, as Im putting my cart in the pen, shes shouting out her car window at me that Im an idiot and how I shouldnt own a dog. Classy.

Though this situation brought up a frustration of mine; I'm preprogramed to ignore ignorance and just go about life. I would have loved to get in her face and point out how asinine and hypocritcal that old douchette is. Part of me wanted to turn suddenly and smash my cart into her car, but knowing my luck the wad up her ass is her lawyer. So I flipped her off as she shouted out her window at me, then pointed out she needs to "Mind your own business, Psycho"

SO, I posted a craigslist missed connection with all the snarky remarks I -should- have laid on her, while instead I pulled the passive card and let her yell at the back of my head.